i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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