im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
