If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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