Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
