you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
