Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
