The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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