She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
