why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
