If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
