She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
