I swear she didn't look like that last week.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
