if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
