I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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