I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
