Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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