We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
