Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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