Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
