It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
