I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
