hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
