wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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