Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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