I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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