things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
high people should be assigned attendants
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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