You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
