Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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