HIV tests are more positive than that guy
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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