So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
