just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
