my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
