I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
