you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
