Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
