I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
