it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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