i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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