I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We're facebook friends in real life
Buhtt sex?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
