His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
