Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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