After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
