I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
