hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
