It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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