Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I am morally bankrupt
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
