There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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