If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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