So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
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