Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
